Saturday, 21 January 2012

Why I laugh at Sebastian Verlac*

Um...ADULT CONTENT WARNING. Felt I should put that there, if you're under, umm... Eh, whatever, if you're reading my blog you're probably at/past high school, where you'll hear worse. If the idea of incest offends you, then don't read this post and don't read fanfiction. Ever. On with the show.

Recently, as you may be aware, I have gotten into fanfiction (please shoot me). Loving Sebastian Verlac, I did the obvious thing and looked for fanfics starring the guy. Bad idea. Very bad idea. Dude was awesome, badass and completely evil in the actual books? Not in the fanfics, in the fanfics he's... whiny, boring and trying to convince himself that he's evil.

"But some of these fanfics have him screw his sister!" you might yell, appalled. Well yes, my dear reader, but how many of these fanfictions convince you that he's doing it because he's an evil half-demon from hell? Very few. In most of them he seems to do it out of obligation and is constantly whining about how evil it is. Yes, it's wrong. No, a truly evil character - like little Sebastian Verlac - wouldn't whine about it, or even realise it's bad. And then there's the point that she - the half-angel girl - seems to want it more than he does. It boggles the mind. I don't want to know what goes through the WRITERS' heads.

Look at the rest of the fanfics with him in, though. The ones without incest lemons. The writers try so hard to make him evil that he's comically hilarious. SV was nuanced in the books and it made him interesting, the guy in the fanfics just seems to be doing stuff "for the evilz" and that's not interesting, it's weird and snicker-worthy. *Sigh* and here's where a legion of fanfic writers ask me if I can do better. Um, well...probably not, but I might as well give it a go.

*Prays for someone with a sniper rifle, wish left unfulfilled* Here we go then (Warning: spoilers):

...where they'll decide what to do with his body," Simon said. Clary looked up, trying to remember he'd been saying and failing miserably. He sighed and the image of him pushing his glasses up his nose came into her mind, of course he didn't need the glasses now... "You weren't listening were you? Jace will be fine." She smiled weakly.

"But what about you, are you..." there was a crash from the roof, like windows shattering. Exactly like windows shattering. Clary grabbed Simon's arm. "Jace! We left him up there with..." Sebastian...Jonathan...whatever you wanted to call him. She swallowed. Her brother.

Already there was a group forming by the elevator, but it was already too late, they were gone.

* * *

"No witty quips, little brother?" Sebastian asked. No, Jonathan asked. Jace stared at the patterns of mold and dirt on the wall opposite, finally managing to form words.

"What the fuck did you do to me?" Jace asked, hands clenching. He had no idea where they were, no idea what Jonathan was doing and no idea why he didn't really feel annoyed about it. It was actually rather peaceful. Jonathan sighed.

"Not the most inspired comment, but it'll do. At least so I know I didn't drag a vegetable back here. After all, I need you, I have big plans, little brother, and you're going to help me," Jonathan said, pacing the room.

"I'm not going to help you do anything," Jace spat before clenching his eyes shut. If helping Jonathan was a bad idea, why did he want to?

"Oh? Aren't you, little ange... damn, can't even call you that anymore," Jonathan muttered. "You're going to help me, and if you're very lucky, I won't destroy you at the end for what you've done to me and mine." He crouched in front of Jace, staring into his once golden, now dark, eyes with a smirk. "And you won't even protest."

Eh. I never claimed I could do it, in fact I said I couldn't. Better leave the writing of TMI to Cassie Clare.

See y'all next time.

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